A to Z coping strategy

Diane Webb fellow blogger suggests using each letter of the alphabet to list something you are grateful for right now.  My list.

A- applesauce

B- Bella and Be Be my dogs and Beverly my daughter

C- church

D- David my Dad and David my husband ( 2 people)

E- electricity

F- French fried


H- the Hauers my new family

I- ice cream (duh)

J- jelly

K- klutzs

L- Lauren

M- music

N- noise (it means I can hear)

O- oolong tea

P- pizza

Q- questions

R- rest

S- salvation

T- teachers

U- universal love

V-Virginia my state

W- words

X- extraordinary life

Y- yarn to knit

Z- zest for living

You try it.



happy hanuchistkwanyear

It is that time of year when Christianity and political correctness collides.  I say merry Christmas.  If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope I don’t offend you.  You don’t have to celebrate Christmas.  No one is making you.  I kind of like the idea of Hanukkah and can spread out the fun for 8 days.   I have yet to meet anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa and I know lots of black people.  I asked some of them about Kwanzaa and they didn’t know.  I don’t celebrate winter solstice because I don’t know how.  I will celebrate any holiday that gets me out of work, involves fellowship, food, alcohol and naps.  I grew up with Santa Claus, presents, Christmas Eve service, sausage balls, ham, tinsel and rarely snow.   I got to be Mary in the church pageant at age 10 and the innkeeper in the high school musical version.  I don’t see the war on Christmas the way others do.  I see parking yourself in front of best buy at 4 am to beat someone’s ass over a TV as not very Christ like.  When did the buying of gifts and blatant capitalism  as worshipping Christ.  I don’t  see a Christmas tree on the town square as offending anyone.  Stick your festivus pole next to it.  I don’t care.  But on Christmas day, wish me a merry Christmas.  December 25 is Christmas, whether we celebrate it or not. If someone says happy martin luther king day, are you offended?  Hey Aryan nation, you get a paid day off from work, celebrate that.  Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that we have to expect everyone to know what holidays we celebrate?

Dialogue of a dumbass

Merry Christmas.  I don’t celebrate that.  Okay, have a nice day.  Why do you Christians assume that we celebrate Christmas because you do?  I don’t assume anything. It is Christmas day and I am having fun and hope your day that happens to fall on Christmas is merry and bright. It is December 25th.  In most of America, central America, south America, Europe, Australia, part of Africa, Asia, it is Christmas.  Are you in Saudi Arabia or Israel?  They don’t celebrate Christmas.  Look don’t wish me a merry Christmas.  It offends me.  Happy New Year then.  How do we know it is new year. We are using the Greco roman calendar forced on us after Christ allegedly died.  It might not be new year at all. Have a nice life, day, hour, minute or how ever you calculate the passing of your existence. Don’t tell me what kind of day to have.  Okay have whatever kind of existence you want.  I will pray for that. Don’t pray for me you sanctimonious bastard.   Don’t judge me.  Don’t put your values on me.

Okay I hope you have a lousy life and die.  I will not wish or pray for anything for you, but I am having a merry Christmas today. Thank you.



Where were you when the world stopped?

It was 15 years ago today.  Children born on 9/11 are 15 year old.  They didn’t see the towers fall or the planes hit.  Yet, their whole childhood has been about war., terror and fear.  The flags are at half mast today in remembrance.  Bells toll.  People have a moment of silence, a prayer.  There are spouses who were widowed that day.  There were orphaned children.  Whole companies lost every employee.  Survivor guilt is rampant. What can we do now 15 years later?  How can we make the world a better place for these children born on this eventful day?  Do we want to live in fear, paranoia, mistrustful of everyone who is not like us?

How do we combat evil?

Listen to that song Where were you when the world stopped turning b

Alan Jackson and say a prayer for peace.

Your next big crisis.

You always think the trivial thing going on is your next big crisis that you can’t get over.  I used to feel that way when the car didn’t start, the job didn’t come, the check was late, a break up, doctor report not great.  I learned what is a big crisis and I am blessed to have had the tools to combat it.  (More on the tools later)

My beloved Aunt received a diagnosis two years ago of kidney cancer and had one kidney removed and chemo.  She was good for awhile with some changes in diet and some kidney function problems.  The cancer spread to her lungs; more chemo and it was abated.  Now, the MRI reports that she has a brain tumor.  They can’t operate on a 82 year old woman. So, we are back to radiation to stop her headaches.  This is a crisis.  The cancer has metastasized.  Every day is a gift for her now.  Her daughters hold out hope that this next treatment will work again.  Her husband of 62 years hopes that he has her a while longer as he has Parkinson’s.  Three Grandchildren have some milestones that they want Ganna around for.  I may be going to Atlanta soon to not put off that visit.

Back to the tools.

1.) Friends- people that you can call at 3 a.m. who will drop everything and come. You need one that cooks to keep you eating, one to advocate and bitch when things aren’t moving, a clown to keep you laughing, a cleaner to make sure your house, clothes don’t look like crap, and a bitch who will tell you to shut up stop whining, shower and lets go.

2.) Medical personnel that you trust.

3.) spirituality- a plan a purpose, someone to watch over me.

4.) A car no one wants to take chemo and ride a bus

5.) a long movie queue and books- an idle mind wanders to ruminate and worry land

6.) comedy watch patch Adams three times

7.) charged phone for god sakes answer it people worry

8.) caring bridge where you can post your stuff and not have to call 15 people with any changers

9.) a therapist- don’t go this alone and overburden those already stretched to the max.

10.) food don’t stop eating, even if it is a few bites.

I have those friends, they know who they are and I love you.  Prayers to my aunts family as I try to be one of her tools.

Out of control or poor parenting.

I watched a you tube video that has been circulating of a Mom driving a car with a child in the back around 11 or 12 years old.  The passenger was videotaping his major tantrum.  The kid was kicking the seat, screaming at his mom to take him home.  He pulled his Mom’s hair and tried to touch the steering wheel.  The Mom explained he could not go home because of no adult supervision.  He continued to act out and escalated.  She grounded him several times and he screamed no.  He did not appear to calm down.  Many people commented on what to do and what he had.  Some gave excuses for his behavior and he needed medication.  Others blamed the Mom for being too permissive.  Some suggested to beat his behind.  Others suggested psychiatric interventions.  It was obvious that he has some for of oppositional defiance.  He did not need medication.  He knew exactly what he was doing and did not care.  This is not a case of isolated behaviors.  No one seemed concerned that he was in a moving car trying to take control of the wheel and why didn’t the Mom stop the car.  Was this behavior so typical for him that she just kept driving figuring that he would shut up eventually?  Why was the passenger videotaping and not trying to intervene?  The kid made a few snide remarks to the passenger.  Other people suggested that if the Mother was black she would have handled it better.  So that brings to the question do people parent differently due to their culture and race?  A child was out of control in a moving car that could have crashed and injured and killed people.  If it was my kid, the car would have sat with the ignition off until the child calmed down or I would have called the police.  Children need to learn that parents are in charge and to be safe.  He wasn’t safe and he didn’t care.  So are kids today any different than 20 years ago?