You always think the trivial thing going on is your next big crisis that you can’t get over. I used to feel that way when the car didn’t start, the job didn’t come, the check was late, a break up, doctor report not great. I learned what is a big crisis and I am blessed to have had the tools to combat it. (More on the tools later)
My beloved Aunt received a diagnosis two years ago of kidney cancer and had one kidney removed and chemo. She was good for awhile with some changes in diet and some kidney function problems. The cancer spread to her lungs; more chemo and it was abated. Now, the MRI reports that she has a brain tumor. They can’t operate on a 82 year old woman. So, we are back to radiation to stop her headaches. This is a crisis. The cancer has metastasized. Every day is a gift for her now. Her daughters hold out hope that this next treatment will work again. Her husband of 62 years hopes that he has her a while longer as he has Parkinson’s. Three Grandchildren have some milestones that they want Ganna around for. I may be going to Atlanta soon to not put off that visit.
Back to the tools.
1.) Friends- people that you can call at 3 a.m. who will drop everything and come. You need one that cooks to keep you eating, one to advocate and bitch when things aren’t moving, a clown to keep you laughing, a cleaner to make sure your house, clothes don’t look like crap, and a bitch who will tell you to shut up stop whining, shower and lets go.
2.) Medical personnel that you trust.
3.) spirituality- a plan a purpose, someone to watch over me.
4.) A car no one wants to take chemo and ride a bus
5.) a long movie queue and books- an idle mind wanders to ruminate and worry land
6.) comedy watch patch Adams three times
7.) charged phone for god sakes answer it people worry
8.) caring bridge where you can post your stuff and not have to call 15 people with any changers
9.) a therapist- don’t go this alone and overburden those already stretched to the max.
10.) food don’t stop eating, even if it is a few bites.
I have those friends, they know who they are and I love you. Prayers to my aunts family as I try to be one of her tools.