Guns guns and more guns.

Before everyone starts threatening to kill me, I own a gun.  My Dad owns a gun.  No one in my family shoots up schools.  But I am also not a felon, a crack head or mentally deranged.  I do think we need to make guns harder to get, but that alone will not solve the problem.

NO ONE IS TRYING TO CONFISCATE YOUR GUN!!!

I have seen more shootings than I want to see.  We are not being killed by immigrants.  We are being killed from within.  As a mental health professional since 1993, I have seen many things and I understand why it is happening in schools.

1.)  The way we parent out children.  We don’t like to tell them no,  hurt their feelings, let them fail or not make the team.  We either smother, enable or helicopter.  So when they grow up and cannot function as an independent adult, life becomes a cruel and scary place.  The children have no coping skills.

2.)  Bullying and social media.  This falls back on parenting again.  We need to monitor the use of social media and know what our kids are doing. Violence in school starts out of school and continues into school. If your kid is a little punk ass bully, find out why and get help.  Maybe you taught him or her that.  Maybe he needs attention.  Maybe he needs you to take away his phone.

3.)  Understaffed and overworked school personnel.  25 to 30 kids in a classroom is not optimal for a learning environment.  We have few guidance counselors and social workers.  Too many kids slip through the cracks. They don’t have any one to talk to and the signs are missed.  We need to arm teachers with help not guns.  That means you might need to pay more in taxes to make the school secure.

4.)  Violent games and movies.  Parents once again ignore the ratings and parental controls and let 8 year olds play Grand Theft Auto.  God forbid the child not get what they want.  They see death and destruction, but the player comes back to life. Not real life people.  Guns can actually kill people forever.

5.)  Easy access to drugs and guns.  Many recent shootings the child accessed the parents gun.  Really you leave a loaded gun on the kitchen table while we cook dinner.  Buy a holster or at least lock it up to eat dinner.  Is ISIS going to run in while you eat?

6.)  Gun safety is not required to buy a gun.  You just get one.  You need to learn things for a conceal carry, but not to own a gun. To get a license to drive a car, we have to pass a written test, a vision test, have a learners for a few months and pass a driving test. Then we have to register the car and get insurance.  Why can’t we do that with a gun?  If you show you can’t drive, too many tickets, DUI, your privledge is taken away for awhile.  Why can’t we do that with guns? Okay you are suicidal right now, maybe you shouldn’t have weapons until you feel better.

7.)  People are just more violent now and are desensitized to it.  We lack empathy and caring for others.

8.)  We are more narcissistic than we used to be. We think we are entitled to get things and have to make people pay when we don’t. People haven’t learned they aren’t the center of the universe and the world doesn’t revolve around them.

9.)  Underfunded mental health.  If more people were insured, then more people can get help.  Therapy and psychiatric medciations cost money.  I can’t pay my rent on free care. I would like to but I can’t.  Medicaid might be an entitlement but it has become a safety concern now.

10.) We are too involved in the rhetoric and don’t listen to the other side.  So we can’t compromise as country and meet in the middle.  We are too busy pointing the finger at the other side.

11.) I fail to see the civilian purpose for an AR 15.  Also magazines and bump stocks are not in the constitution. I guess I can use it, when North Korea nukes us.

12.)  Apathy.

These kids in Parkland are our future.  How dare anyone criticize them for using the 1st Amendment?  They were traumatized beyond any way we will ever know or at least I hope I never know. This is how they chose to grieve.  They will take action.  They will not idly sit by and watch the adults fail. They were told to stay in class, (they were in class and got shot)  be quiet, take CPR, called commies, and we are now bullying the victims of gun violence.  See #2. That is really pathetic.  If you don’t like what they are saying, then don’t listen.  But you don’t threaten their lives.  Go back to # 10.

My daughter lives 10 miles from Parkland Fl.  She works at an architecture firm that remodels schools.  She has been in Marjory Stoneman High School.  She could have been there working that day.  She could have been gunned down at age 27.  I could have been sitting beside her in the hospital and have some politician or reporter come by to offer thoughts and prayers.  This would have been my answer:

My thoughts are that you get off your ass and fix the problems of this country that caused this to happen.  My prayer is that someone pays my daughters medical bills and that she doesn’t die.  If she dies I have nothing to lose.  You don’t want to mess with a mother with nothing to lose.  When you have nothing to lose, you petition, you march, you do sit ins, you write editorials, you mobilize voters, and you make phone calls.  You also lose your mind.  You seek revenge and justice. My prayer would be that you wouldn’t be in my way and my thoughts would not be about your feelings. 

The Bible says out of the mouth of Babes and little children shall lead them.  Matthew 18: 2-5. Isaiah 11:6. We are so fixated on six week old fetuses that we forget that they become children at Sandy Hook, teenagers at Columbine and Parkland, parishioners in Charleston, concert goers in Vegas, and constituents in Tucson. We can’t call ourselves pro life and love objects that take a life. No Jesus did not own a weapon.  He said turn the other cheek.  We call ourselves a Christian nation and yet the phrase love one another and forgive are not quoted.

We are fixated on who Donald Trump slept with and not that he played golf days after a mass shooting.  We are fixated on salacious news and  don’t turn the news when they verbally attack children.  We are fixated on gossip and We dont condemn politicians for calling children lesbians and commies.  We don’t change the channel at commentators that make stuff up.  These kids are seeing all of this and registering to vote.  They will change the world in 10 years and I am grateful.

Now let me make sure my Glock is put away safe.

 

 

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charlottesville

As usual I wait to respond so I am not using raw emotion. I live 170 miles from Charlottesville Va.  I know people that went to UVA or have kids their now.  Eyewitness acounts do not match the news narrative.  Athletes had show up early to practice before school started and ended up locked in with their coaches Friday night.  The permit was for Saturday at noon.  Racists were yelling outside of a synagogue Friday night.  They had to leave out the back to avoid confrontation.

Saturday many groups invaded Charlottesville with agendas of their own.  I don’t know if they were paid.  But Charlottesville is pretty liberal and I can’t imagine them liking Nazis walking through town yelling anti semitic chants.  What do you think is going to happen when you do that?

My Father, 3 Uncles and some cousins went to WW2 to fight Japs and nazi’s.  My Father voted for Trump.  I asked him how he feels now and he can’t answer me.  He doesn’t associate the current events with fighting nazi’s in WW2.  I guess he thinks they are different Nazis.

Someone in his county had their house tagged. They were black in a mainly white senior community.  He has a black friend down the street.  Again he thinks it is isolated.  Stuff happens.

2016 brought on a lot of changes.  Trump can’t be blamed for all of it  These people have always been here.  Now for some reason they think they can come into the light and are not afraid.

I fail to see how they correlate confederate statues with nazis.  They were almost 70 yeara apart and don’t represent the same thing. Seems to me they are taking the confederate cause as a reason to show up and show their ass.  They claim to protect history.  There are over 200 confederate monuments in VA.  How many historical monuments to the native americans, hispanics, asians, and blacks are their in VA? Also how many statues of women historical figures.  Shouldn’t all of history be portrayed, not just the parts that agree with your narrative.

election is over

I waited over a week to post.  Like a lot of people I didn’t think Trump would win and I was surprised. I wanted to process it before I wrote something in the heat of the moment.

No matter who wins, both candidates only recieved 48% of the vote, meaning 52% didn’t like the other one.  Several mayors, governors and senators and congressmen will not return to office.  The whole makeup of our country will change in January 2017.

Several things are happening that need to be revisited.  Just give him a chance.  He is not my President. Their are protests and riots and kids walking out of class.  I will give my psychological perspective one at a time.  I am in no means predicting anything, just my spin on how people are feeling.

  1. The media messed this up.  The polls were wrong.  Why is this bad?  Some people may not have voted because they thought there candidate had it in the bag so they didn’t need to or they fired they were going to lose so it didn’t matter.  Always vote no matter what the polls say.  No vote no voice.

2.  Just give him a chance- I remember 2008 very well.  No one was giving Obama  a chance.  The birther movement was in full swing and plenty of people were saying he is not my president and calling him obummer, a muslim, a kenyan, a socialist.  No there were no riots, but plenty of racist signs and bumper stickers for 8 years.  They called him an ape.  Asked for his lynching.  Insulted his wife and kids and called them ugly.  We discovered that america was still racist in 2008.  So it is hard for people to want to take the high road and do the same for Trump.

3.  He is our elected President.  Always pray for our leaders.  He is your President so hold him to a standard above a reality TV host.  He has to watch what he says now. He needs to be called out when he does wrong or praised when  he does right.  Acceptance does not mean approval.

4. The protests.  Cory Booker told us to behave.  We have the right to make our voices heard and assemble. We do not have the right to loot, burn, throw rocks, destroy property and act like a big temper tantrum. That does not make your cause look right.  People miss the message when looking at the behavior.  I understand why people are afraid, due to the statements made about them.  Trump has done racists behaviors in the past with his rental policies and has made racist comments.  On the other side, reports are coming out of brown people being targeted and threatened.  This just validates peoples fears.  A few incidents like that and people will go see we should be afraid and more people will protest.

5.  A better way.  Look to 2018.  If Trump has not fulfilled his promises to the ones that expected him to then let him know and start finding someone else for 2020 and vote out the congressmen that sided with him.  If Trump fulfilled his promises and you do not like them, then also vote out those responsible and look for a sucessor for 2020.  He will be 74 in 2020 and we all know how this office ages people.  He may not want to run again.

6.  Trump is a large personality and is used to getting his own way.  He may adapt to having to negotiate where he isn’t the biggest ego in the room or he may not.  I personally would not want to work for him and not agree with him. Yet if our country is full of minions who don’t speak out we don’t learn or grow. A good parent tells their kids what they need to hear not what they want to hear.  Let us hope Trump has some parents/advisers that tell him like it is.

The Election and it effects on kids.

My clients are from the age of 5 to 18 for kids.  They come from all ethnic backgrounds and social economic status.  One little black girl asked me why Donald Trump didn’t like her.  She is 10.  A 16 year old white kid bragged that Trump was going to win big and everyone just better like it.  A 6 year old wanted to know why he got in trouble for grabbing a girl at school because Trump says they really like it.  A girl said she didn’t trust Hillary because she wasn’t good at email, because she was old like her grandma.  My Mexican client who was born here said several people yelled at him at school and told him they were going to build a wall and throw his ass out.  All of these children get in trouble for fighting and did before the election.  My sexual trauma clients are being triggered and they believe that Trump and Clinton are perps and are scared.  Many think they are fat when they aren’t fat.  My suggestion is to not have children watch the news if they aren’t old enough to vote.  We have three weeks left.  Save the children.

My clients ask me who I am voting for and I don’t tell them.  It isn’t my job to sway political opinions.  I just tell them to vote or have their parents vote.  Many of my chients are disabled and recieve services.  They worry about losing them. They already have anxiety problems.  Some are low IQ and can’t decern the rhetoric and fact check.  One was afraid that they were going to take him to jail and knock his door down looking for Mexicans and guns.  They already have issues with the police.

I have to walk the fine line between safety, knowledge and not swaying someones vote.

My advise to someone with mental issues, if you know who you are going to vote for don’t turn on the news or look at it on the internet and mute the commercials.  Don’t watch the next debate.

I can’t wait until November 9th 2016.  Let all of this be over.

 

 

More shootings

When is it going to end?  More untreated mental illness, societal ills and anger.  Some attacks are by terrorists, disgruntled people, racists, deranged, etc. Our government does nothing. They talk about declaring war on ISIS, asking for prayers, moments of silence, vigils, constant news coverage with opinions.  hashtags # blue livematter, #all lives matter, #blacklives matter.  Politicians chiming in on what they would do if they were in power.  The NRA declares better and more guns would solve the problem.  If police lives matter, you wouldn’t give guns to civilians that have repeating rounds.  If black lives matter, you wouldn’t call to hang president obama or call black people thugs.  If all lives matter, you wouldn’t dimish the deaths with an I’ll pray for you.  No one ever said only black lives matter.  We are acutely aware that black gangs kill each other.  The difference is- if Tyrone kills Damone in the street, Tyrone is apprehended and prosecuted.  No one mentions anything disparaging about Damones past or if he smoked a joint in 2014.  If Damone is shot by a white or a cop, they dig into his past to justify it.  They run his name through the mud.  They find every excuse, mental illness, feared for their life,etc for the shooter who may or may not go to trial. Thats what it is about accountability.  If I shoot someone, even in self defense, they should at least look into it.  Anyone can say I am afraid and I thought he had a gun.  Who can challenge it?  Dead men tell no tales.  When they don’t find a gun, oh they reached in their pocket.  I thought they were going for a gun.  There hands were up, well they reached for something and then put them up.  Cops have tasers, clubs, cars, and many weapons at their disposal.  Why is the gun the first choice to solve any problem?  I don’t think all lives matter, or we wouldn’t be so quick to choose a gun to solve a problem. I want my own hashtag.  #Anne for peace.

another super tuesday.

The value of your home state.  The old adage goes if your own people don’t love you why should anyone else.  No one has ever been elected without carrying their home state.  Kasich is ahead in Ohio, but Rubio’s future in Florida is not guaranteed. He is a first term senator that did not win by a lot in a 3 man senate race.  He was in the state senate for a little while.  He may do well among cubans, but his gang of 8 may go against him.  I hope he does win Florida and Kasich wins ohio.  I also hope Cruz takes one of the other states.  Trump needs his wings clipped.

A new ad with all the awful things he said about women is being released.  I hope it resonates with woman voters of either party.  We won’t be talked about this way and a defeat of someone who does that should move womans rights forward.  A win will set us back to 1950 and people will think they can say and do whatever to woman.  We already have laws being passed to protect rapists and give domestic batterers privledges to own guns.  This is scary to me.  Why not put money to speed up the process of rape kits?  Why not give guns to the victims?  Why blame woman for the assault and rape?  Do you really think Donald Trump would find any of these issues a priority, especially woman of color?  He hasn’t even treated his own wives well and has made sexual references to his daughter.

Women are expendable commodities to him to be traded when they are no longer useful to him as sex objects.  Then he whines about how much the divorce costs.  Do you hear much about Tiffany Trump?  You never see her at campaign events.  He treats her like dirt.  He pays for her college and makes his obligations, but that is all.

Go vote today.  Do not let misoginy win out.

Trump protestors

You give the rhetoric and someone gets it back. Now we have white people protesting him. Then it gets attention.  Why can’t you protest a candidate and disagree? I saw a Hispanic holding a sign that says we are not rapists. You tell people to punch protesters in the face. It is bound to enflame people. What if I protest you are going to hit me?  Non violent protesters are being culcocked. Condemn it.