Guns guns and more guns.

Before everyone starts threatening to kill me, I own a gun.  My Dad owns a gun.  No one in my family shoots up schools.  But I am also not a felon, a crack head or mentally deranged.  I do think we need to make guns harder to get, but that alone will not solve the problem.


I have seen more shootings than I want to see.  We are not being killed by immigrants.  We are being killed from within.  As a mental health professional since 1993, I have seen many things and I understand why it is happening in schools.

1.)  The way we parent out children.  We don’t like to tell them no,  hurt their feelings, let them fail or not make the team.  We either smother, enable or helicopter.  So when they grow up and cannot function as an independent adult, life becomes a cruel and scary place.  The children have no coping skills.

2.)  Bullying and social media.  This falls back on parenting again.  We need to monitor the use of social media and know what our kids are doing. Violence in school starts out of school and continues into school. If your kid is a little punk ass bully, find out why and get help.  Maybe you taught him or her that.  Maybe he needs attention.  Maybe he needs you to take away his phone.

3.)  Understaffed and overworked school personnel.  25 to 30 kids in a classroom is not optimal for a learning environment.  We have few guidance counselors and social workers.  Too many kids slip through the cracks. They don’t have any one to talk to and the signs are missed.  We need to arm teachers with help not guns.  That means you might need to pay more in taxes to make the school secure.

4.)  Violent games and movies.  Parents once again ignore the ratings and parental controls and let 8 year olds play Grand Theft Auto.  God forbid the child not get what they want.  They see death and destruction, but the player comes back to life. Not real life people.  Guns can actually kill people forever.

5.)  Easy access to drugs and guns.  Many recent shootings the child accessed the parents gun.  Really you leave a loaded gun on the kitchen table while we cook dinner.  Buy a holster or at least lock it up to eat dinner.  Is ISIS going to run in while you eat?

6.)  Gun safety is not required to buy a gun.  You just get one.  You need to learn things for a conceal carry, but not to own a gun. To get a license to drive a car, we have to pass a written test, a vision test, have a learners for a few months and pass a driving test. Then we have to register the car and get insurance.  Why can’t we do that with a gun?  If you show you can’t drive, too many tickets, DUI, your privledge is taken away for awhile.  Why can’t we do that with guns? Okay you are suicidal right now, maybe you shouldn’t have weapons until you feel better.

7.)  People are just more violent now and are desensitized to it.  We lack empathy and caring for others.

8.)  We are more narcissistic than we used to be. We think we are entitled to get things and have to make people pay when we don’t. People haven’t learned they aren’t the center of the universe and the world doesn’t revolve around them.

9.)  Underfunded mental health.  If more people were insured, then more people can get help.  Therapy and psychiatric medciations cost money.  I can’t pay my rent on free care. I would like to but I can’t.  Medicaid might be an entitlement but it has become a safety concern now.

10.) We are too involved in the rhetoric and don’t listen to the other side.  So we can’t compromise as country and meet in the middle.  We are too busy pointing the finger at the other side.

11.) I fail to see the civilian purpose for an AR 15.  Also magazines and bump stocks are not in the constitution. I guess I can use it, when North Korea nukes us.

12.)  Apathy.

These kids in Parkland are our future.  How dare anyone criticize them for using the 1st Amendment?  They were traumatized beyond any way we will ever know or at least I hope I never know. This is how they chose to grieve.  They will take action.  They will not idly sit by and watch the adults fail. They were told to stay in class, (they were in class and got shot)  be quiet, take CPR, called commies, and we are now bullying the victims of gun violence.  See #2. That is really pathetic.  If you don’t like what they are saying, then don’t listen.  But you don’t threaten their lives.  Go back to # 10.

My daughter lives 10 miles from Parkland Fl.  She works at an architecture firm that remodels schools.  She has been in Marjory Stoneman High School.  She could have been there working that day.  She could have been gunned down at age 27.  I could have been sitting beside her in the hospital and have some politician or reporter come by to offer thoughts and prayers.  This would have been my answer:

My thoughts are that you get off your ass and fix the problems of this country that caused this to happen.  My prayer is that someone pays my daughters medical bills and that she doesn’t die.  If she dies I have nothing to lose.  You don’t want to mess with a mother with nothing to lose.  When you have nothing to lose, you petition, you march, you do sit ins, you write editorials, you mobilize voters, and you make phone calls.  You also lose your mind.  You seek revenge and justice. My prayer would be that you wouldn’t be in my way and my thoughts would not be about your feelings. 

The Bible says out of the mouth of Babes and little children shall lead them.  Matthew 18: 2-5. Isaiah 11:6. We are so fixated on six week old fetuses that we forget that they become children at Sandy Hook, teenagers at Columbine and Parkland, parishioners in Charleston, concert goers in Vegas, and constituents in Tucson. We can’t call ourselves pro life and love objects that take a life. No Jesus did not own a weapon.  He said turn the other cheek.  We call ourselves a Christian nation and yet the phrase love one another and forgive are not quoted.

We are fixated on who Donald Trump slept with and not that he played golf days after a mass shooting.  We are fixated on salacious news and  don’t turn the news when they verbally attack children.  We are fixated on gossip and We dont condemn politicians for calling children lesbians and commies.  We don’t change the channel at commentators that make stuff up.  These kids are seeing all of this and registering to vote.  They will change the world in 10 years and I am grateful.

Now let me make sure my Glock is put away safe.





I watched all 4 days of both conventions and some coverage of the Liberatian party as well.  It was interesting.  People praising their party and thier chosen candidate and talking about how the other one sucked.  Finally, they discussed a few ideas and in general how we are going to do it.  There is patriotic flag waving and sosa march music.   I tried to study the rhetoric. Several things stood out- your spouse  and kids telling me how great you are is irrelevant.  I think my spouse would make a great President too. Your party is not the savior of the universe; God has not been replaced.  The other side is not the enemy, that divides us.

I did notice a few highlights.  I was very impressed with Mr. Khan talking about his son who was a Captain in the Army fighting against other muslims for a country he wasn’t born into, when people want to send all of them away because they think they all want to kill us. He died saving the lives of his Christian servicemembers.  Oh the irony.

The police officer talking about dead cops was not a time to talk about black lives matter when some of the cops were black. They were killed defending your right to protest and you can’t be quiet during a moment of silence.

Donald Trump suddenly likes gay people and picked for his vice president the most anti gay governor in the 50 states. Pence thinks religious freedom means I can refuse service to everyone who sins differently than me.  Not very Jesus like.

No one covered the protests outside.  That would have been more interesting and more real.  Kind of like political episode of cops.  Yet. all people talked about was they didn’t pray enough.  A political convention is not church.  The DNC didn’t have enough flags.   Really, any asshole can wave a flag.  Act like a patriot and do something for your country. You can’t do something for your country if you hate everyone in it.

Several things we need to shut up about seriously..  No one is taking your guns.  No one is telling you how to worship in your church house, car, lawn, etc.  We have to pay taxes to get things like roads, cops, fireman.  Welfare is not breaking the budget.  If you can pay for war, you can pay for veterans.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have been buds for a long time.  Bill and Donald are two of the biggest womanizers around. Chelsea and Ivanka are friends married to Jewish bankers.  Yet. all people talked about was they didn’t pray enough.  A political convention is not church.  The DNC didn’t have enough flags.   Really, any asshole can wave a flag.  Act like a patriot and do something for your country.

Now for the slogans.  I am with her could mean Jill Stein for the Green Party. Make America great again, uh we have always been great and the hats are made in China. I like the one everyone sucks 2016.  When 3 parties are polling at 10% and 3 % in August, it is going to be a fun year.

I don’t really want to see a wall, because we have illegal immigrants from Europe, Asia, Africa, the middle east.  They all arrived on a plane with a visa and let it expire.  Cubans come by boat.   Nice sentiment, but it is not really a solution.

We need to focus on jobs, the economy and retirement.  No Jeb, I am not working until I am 70 and waiting to get my Medicare at 67.  Minimum wage is too low.  We need inclusion not division.


Religion and politics once again.

Now the issue is equal pay based on gender.  Many systems are set up that way state jobs, federal and military jobs.  But many are not.  The arguments presented lately is using religion.  The Bible according to Chris Christie is that woman are less than men and it is against his religion so he vetoes and equal pay bill.  Let me be clear.  I don’t practice the same religion as Chris Christie and do not wish his views to be placed upon me.  Thankfully I live in Va.

The Equal rights amendment lacked three states of passing and Virginia is one of them.

The reason that pay should be equal is very clear.  Me and my coworker in the same job making the same pay does not take any pay away from them.  Social security is based on income.  Women live 7 years longer than men.  So woman making less money increases the chances of senior poverty.  Women will also put less money in a 401 K because there salary will drop.

Pay by the position.  If a teacher makes this wage, then all make it regardless of gender.  Commission jobs are more fair, because they pay based on how much you sell.  In some commission fields women exceed the men in commissions.

Even in hollywood and the musica industry the salaries were less, even when the female leads movie grossed more and made more money for the studio.  A way around this is to get a percentage of the profits.  Women are not as good at negotiating salaries and are often seen as bitchy if they do.

Women are more likely to raise children alone and not get as much child support.  Women pay child care, which can whittle into the pay check, almost half if the child is under 2.

How does it offend Jesus if I am paid a fair wage for a hard days work?  If you don’t want women to work, fine, make enough to support your family one your income, but don’t discriminate on those who have to or chose to work. Don’t complain about welfare that keeps women out of the workforce.

Jesus said feed my sheep, even the ewes.  You can feed them by paying them enough to live on.

So Phyllis Schafly and Chris Christie you are wrong.  Follow the constitution for government and the religious text for your personal life.  Keep your government out of my Bible and your Bible out of my government.  Thank you.  Peace out.

A to Z coping strategy

Diane Webb fellow blogger suggests using each letter of the alphabet to list something you are grateful for right now.  My list.

A- applesauce

B- Bella and Be Be my dogs and Beverly my daughter

C- church

D- David my Dad and David my husband ( 2 people)

E- electricity

F- French fried


H- the Hauers my new family

I- ice cream (duh)

J- jelly

K- klutzs

L- Lauren

M- music

N- noise (it means I can hear)

O- oolong tea

P- pizza

Q- questions

R- rest

S- salvation

T- teachers

U- universal love

V-Virginia my state

W- words

X- extraordinary life

Y- yarn to knit

Z- zest for living

You try it.


Super Tuesday not so super

I was watching the results of super Tuesday and kicking myself for doing it.  Everyone is claiming to be Americas choice and savior.  I noticed that my state; the state of Monroe, Jefferson, Washington, Madison, Wilson, Tyler, Taylor and Harrison picked Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. The Presidents who railed against political parties, gave woman suffrage, formed the constitution to separate church and state.  They created the Monroe Doctrine, the declaration of independence and the bill of rights.  This is what they have chosen to represent out state.

I hate to tell Donald Trump but my Irish great great Grandfather hid on a boat to come here from Ireland to keep from starving.  He didn’t have a passport or a visa.  He was treated like crap in New York and migrated to the mountains of VA to remain and impoverished laborer his whole life. He married a local woman and had 8 children, one was my great grandfather.  He was not a rapist or a drug dealer.

I have relatives that did Loftin Walton, Great Grandpa wiggington, Robert bohon, and a bishop.  Two died leaving widows and numerous children. That war was the worst in our nation and we still suffer from it.  I look at statues for the confederate dead with mixed feelings.  They fought for a cause that was wrong with slavery, but correct in terms of states rights. They fought for Virginia.

I remember tales of my mountain relatives working along side the negro trying to survive and they all helped each other.  They didn’t need food stamps and grew their own food and shared with others.

My Father, my uncle and my husband are veterans and gun owners.  We hardly are what you would call extremists, richies, bigots.  We don’t have to take our gun to chipotle or Walmart to show how patriotic we are to others.  Their service and actions show that, not a gun.  And by the way, Obama hasn’t come for them and never will.

My Grandpa Doyle was my favorite human being on earth.  He was a lifelong union democrat.  He would argue politics with his republican sons.  I grew up in a house where woman could speak their mind.  I was college educated and it was encouraged that I do so.  I remember taking my grandma to vote and we each voted for a separate candidate.  Everyone discussed points of view and got along.   My Grandpa had black people in his house when it wasn’t cool.  He worked for the rail road and thought Jim Crow laws were stupid as he had to separate the passengers when they left WV into VA.  He loved JFK and thought his death was the greatest tragedy of his life. He worked his ass off from a small child until he was 72 years old.  Yet, he didn’t begrudge people being poor and getting help.  He helped many of his poor relatives, his church without complaint.  He sent nephews and nieces to college. He died a man with money in the bank and his funeral at the age of 93 was standing room only.

I wish I could ask him about the candidates running for president and get his take on it.  I guess he would be a Hillary supporter since he is a Democrat.  Yet I am not sure he would like a woman president.  He would not like Donald Trump because he is a Yankee.  He tended to prefer people that worked hard, not behind desks.  He didn’t like racists.  He also told me his Mother died from having too many children.  He would have thought the crap about birth control was stupid.  He lost his mother when he was 12, when she and her 9th child died together.  He attributed too many kids to poverty.  He only had two children, because he didn’t want to lose my grandma to childbirth.  They were married 59 years.  He wouldn’t have liked candidates that were divorced.  That was a moral failing to him to not keep your wife happy and not to cherish her.  He read the Bible every day for 53 years.  He would not recognize who we call Christians today. I am quite sure he would be for immigration.  His Mother was part Cherokee. He was very family oriented.  He talked about Ireland fondly, even though he never went there.  It was a part of him.

He would not like all the debates with yelling and name calling.  Men act like gentleman.  He always wore a hat and tipped it to a lady.  He could get the point across without  being an asshole.  He never had a gun that I knew of, but I also know anyone that would have crossed him.  When the blacks moved into his neighborhood, he was the last white to move out.  He didn’t see why he had to move, just because some black folks moved in.  He made friends with them.  He eventually had to move because the neighborhood became dangerous.  He missed his house and called the owners every day until he died to check  on it.

I cannot vote for any of the Republican candidate right now.  They are too extreme for me. I don’t think walls will keep anyone out of our country.  I don’t think corporations are people and they aren’t a religion.  Gay people are not the enemy and big government interventions in my bedroom are not needed. I don’t want to hear someone’s religious testimony at a political rally. I don’t care about your religion to govern me.



happy hanuchistkwanyear

It is that time of year when Christianity and political correctness collides.  I say merry Christmas.  If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope I don’t offend you.  You don’t have to celebrate Christmas.  No one is making you.  I kind of like the idea of Hanukkah and can spread out the fun for 8 days.   I have yet to meet anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa and I know lots of black people.  I asked some of them about Kwanzaa and they didn’t know.  I don’t celebrate winter solstice because I don’t know how.  I will celebrate any holiday that gets me out of work, involves fellowship, food, alcohol and naps.  I grew up with Santa Claus, presents, Christmas Eve service, sausage balls, ham, tinsel and rarely snow.   I got to be Mary in the church pageant at age 10 and the innkeeper in the high school musical version.  I don’t see the war on Christmas the way others do.  I see parking yourself in front of best buy at 4 am to beat someone’s ass over a TV as not very Christ like.  When did the buying of gifts and blatant capitalism  as worshipping Christ.  I don’t  see a Christmas tree on the town square as offending anyone.  Stick your festivus pole next to it.  I don’t care.  But on Christmas day, wish me a merry Christmas.  December 25 is Christmas, whether we celebrate it or not. If someone says happy martin luther king day, are you offended?  Hey Aryan nation, you get a paid day off from work, celebrate that.  Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that we have to expect everyone to know what holidays we celebrate?

Dialogue of a dumbass

Merry Christmas.  I don’t celebrate that.  Okay, have a nice day.  Why do you Christians assume that we celebrate Christmas because you do?  I don’t assume anything. It is Christmas day and I am having fun and hope your day that happens to fall on Christmas is merry and bright. It is December 25th.  In most of America, central America, south America, Europe, Australia, part of Africa, Asia, it is Christmas.  Are you in Saudi Arabia or Israel?  They don’t celebrate Christmas.  Look don’t wish me a merry Christmas.  It offends me.  Happy New Year then.  How do we know it is new year. We are using the Greco roman calendar forced on us after Christ allegedly died.  It might not be new year at all. Have a nice life, day, hour, minute or how ever you calculate the passing of your existence. Don’t tell me what kind of day to have.  Okay have whatever kind of existence you want.  I will pray for that. Don’t pray for me you sanctimonious bastard.   Don’t judge me.  Don’t put your values on me.

Okay I hope you have a lousy life and die.  I will not wish or pray for anything for you, but I am having a merry Christmas today. Thank you.



My religion vs. your religion

So much is in the news about religious freedom, sharia law, tyranny.  It is enough to frighten people into thinking they are losing their rights.  People are scared they won’t be able to worship or we will be forced to be Muslim.  Then they start the war on Christmas. Kim Davis a law breaking clerk making 80,000 a year in Rowan county KY to not do her job is used as a political tool for Christianity.

First I want to be clear.  The war on Christmas is capitalism, when people camp all night in front of best buy instead of spending time with their family at Thanksgiving.  The constitution prevents sharia law from being the law of the land and we cannot have a state religion, so we won’t be Muslim.

That being said, we can’t force people to be Christian either.  I am a Christian.  There are a lot of things that people do that I don’t approve of or wouldn’t do.  In my practice, my faith is how I act and treat others.  It isn’t a forum for me to preach and judge.  I do believe in an individual church and a person’s home, you can do what you want, but not the public square.

Personally, I do not care one way or the other about gay marriage.  If I don’t like it, I won’t have one. Don’t force me to be gay, I won’t force you to be straight. Live and let live.  God decides in the end and we each answer for ourselves.

Kim Davis is not a martyr for Christ.  I find it convenient after 3 divorces, twins conceived out-of-wedlock, she finds Jesus so much that she wants to enforce the one man one woman marriage rule on everyone else.  I am glad she found Jesus.  I hope everyone finds Jesus.  If this is her true belief, then she needs to repent and return to her first husband.  Render unto Ceasar what is Ceasars and what is Gods to God.   She has every right in her church to not have a gay marriage.  She is elected to a public secular job to serve everyone in her county.  If she can no longer do this, she needs to resign.  The law of the land has spoken, whether we like it or not.

I have some examples of what it would be like if everyone did this behavior.

I won’t ring that ham up for you.  I am Jewish and ham is unclean.

I am sorry I cannot sell you alcohol, because I am a Southern Baptist and drinking alcohol offends the temple of the Lord.

You cannot drive a car. I am a Muslim and woman cannot drive.  I am sorry you must wear a hajib to come into my establishment and have your husband with you.  You aren’t married, well you have to leave, because I cannot look at a single woman.

No I will not move the cow out of the street.  I am a Hindu and that cow is sacred.  You need to worship that cow now.

No I will not issue you a gun.  I am a pacifist Quaker and guns kill people.  No we will not go to war, because the ten commandments say do not kill.

You were caught in adultery your stoning is at 2 pm. I don’t care that your husband beats you, divorce is against God.

I am an atheist so you cannot have a Bible in my presence and turn that God music off.

No I will not sell meat, I am a vegan.  No we will not turn down our Satanic music because we are worshiping  the devil now.

You need to start having children right away, birth control is evil.  I don’t care that you can’t afford children.  NO I will not sell you condoms.  I am Catholic and answer to the Pope.  I don’t care that you aren’t Catholic.  No porn in the store or lottery tickets.  That is sinful and it offends me.

I want a special menu with no pork on it.

No you can’t mix fabrics in your clothes.  Leviticus specifies how you should dress.  I don’t care that you are cold, you can’t wear that.

Today we fast.  I don’t care that you are diabetic, we are fasting.

We need to close the hospital because the 7th day Adventists are going to pray and heal us.  Oh your son died, well I guess you didn’t pray enough, or was a sinner and deserved Gods punishment.

Your Father raped you, well you have to honor your Father, so we can’t prosecute him, he asked for forgiveness. You have to keep the baby God blessed you with, slut.

Does this sound absurd to you?  If it doesn’t move to a country without religious freedom.  Iran is nice this time of year.  Saudi Arabia might let you in.

Religious freedom.  I have a book of my religion in my house I can freely display and read.  I can carry my book everywhere.  I can pray in public.  I go to church on Sunday.  No one comes to my church and tells me to leave. I can marry someone of my faith. I am not told I can’t work somewhere because of my faith or lack of faith.

Religious tyranny.  I am a specific religion.  My religion is better than yours and you have to follow it. Sorry our country doesn’t roll that way.  Kim Davis resign or give out licenses.  Quit making KY look stupid.  Don’t hide behind my Jesus for your own media circus and personal gain.