HOW TO RAISE BAD CHILDREN

So much has been talked about parenting these days, gorillas, abductions, neglect, affluenza teen, shootings,  etc.  I have a plan for those that want to raise a bad child.  Just get it over with and do not have any expectations.

First, you have to decide which type of bad kid you want: a thug/punk, a scared totally dependent, an overachieving alcoholic drug addict, a promiscuous ho, or just stupid.

Thug kid

  1.  To have a thug or a punk, be sure and ignore their friends and what they do.  It isn’t your business. Let them act out in public.
  2. Let them dress in gang colors.  God forbid you don’t let them express themselves. They can get tats, piercings and saggy pants.
  3. Make no remarks about grades, that is shaming.
  4. Do not call the police if they steal, beat up people. Videotape the fight.  They kicked ass!
  5. Let them talk to you any way they want, they are just expressing themselves. Curse back.
  6. Demonstrate thug behavior in their presence. That Tupac shirt looks cute on a 40 year old.
  7. Be the fun parent that smokes pot with their kid and gets arrested too.

Scared kid/totally dependent

  1.  Do not let that child out of your sight.  The world is scary.
  2. Tell them the perils of every activity they will do.
  3. Do their homework and be sure and micromanage everything.  They can’t do it.
  4. Tell them you will protect them at all times
  5. Intervene at every conflict. They can’t handle this.
  6. Help them find a job and call the boss often.
  7. Do not let them make any decisions without you.
  8. Bail them out of any problem or legal mess.

Overachieving alcoholic kid

  1.  Ground them for not making straight A’s.
  2. They must have an activity every night to be well rounded.
  3. They must win at all costs.
  4. Give them Ritalin when they aren’t ADHD to enhance performance.
  5. Your life revolves around their success. Guilt is a good thing.
  6. Tell them they must get into Harvard or Princeton or they suck.
  7. Ignore the drinking and drug use, they need to relax.  Their grades are good.
  8. Tell people how great the kid is and list their achievements.  Everything is conditional in this house.

Promiscuous kid

  1.  Dress them like little hos.  They can have a boyfriend at 11, why not?
  2. Do not criticize the inappropriate music or videos.
  3. Do not supervise their interactions with the opposite sex. Close the door to the bedroom.
  4. Be sure and let men or woman lay up in your house.
  5. Don’t pay attention to them.  They can fend for themselves.
  6. Ask about their school day.  See any cute boys?
  7. Focus on their looks and sex appeal.
  8. Dress provocative yourself.  Who wants to look 40?
  9. Do not bitch when she is knocked up or your son has a baby mama.

Stupid

  1.  Do not teach the child anything.  That is what school is for.
  2. Do not help with school work.  You are busy.
  3. Every time the kid messes up tell them how stupid they are.
  4. Do not have anything educational in the house.
  5. Don’t use big words you might get it wrong.
  6. When they ask questions, tell them I don’t know.  Why do you need to know that?
  7. Do not acknowledge good grades.  Nerds don’t get laid.
  8. Have keggers and fun stuff at the house.
  9. Tell them it is okay to drop out of school.  You need money in the house.
  10. Act stupid yourself.

 

If you want a different kid do the opposite.

 

 

Religion and politics once again.

Now the issue is equal pay based on gender.  Many systems are set up that way state jobs, federal and military jobs.  But many are not.  The arguments presented lately is using religion.  The Bible according to Chris Christie is that woman are less than men and it is against his religion so he vetoes and equal pay bill.  Let me be clear.  I don’t practice the same religion as Chris Christie and do not wish his views to be placed upon me.  Thankfully I live in Va.

The Equal rights amendment lacked three states of passing and Virginia is one of them.

The reason that pay should be equal is very clear.  Me and my coworker in the same job making the same pay does not take any pay away from them.  Social security is based on income.  Women live 7 years longer than men.  So woman making less money increases the chances of senior poverty.  Women will also put less money in a 401 K because there salary will drop.

Pay by the position.  If a teacher makes this wage, then all make it regardless of gender.  Commission jobs are more fair, because they pay based on how much you sell.  In some commission fields women exceed the men in commissions.

Even in hollywood and the musica industry the salaries were less, even when the female leads movie grossed more and made more money for the studio.  A way around this is to get a percentage of the profits.  Women are not as good at negotiating salaries and are often seen as bitchy if they do.

Women are more likely to raise children alone and not get as much child support.  Women pay child care, which can whittle into the pay check, almost half if the child is under 2.

How does it offend Jesus if I am paid a fair wage for a hard days work?  If you don’t want women to work, fine, make enough to support your family one your income, but don’t discriminate on those who have to or chose to work. Don’t complain about welfare that keeps women out of the workforce.

Jesus said feed my sheep, even the ewes.  You can feed them by paying them enough to live on.

So Phyllis Schafly and Chris Christie you are wrong.  Follow the constitution for government and the religious text for your personal life.  Keep your government out of my Bible and your Bible out of my government.  Thank you.  Peace out.

Virginian pilot article

I probably should not watch the news.  I get too upset over injustice.  A prisoner in our jail who was mentally ill died.  He was in jail for shoplifting candy.  Most times he would spend a few days in and be out.  He was detained for months on a mental health order.  No bed was available.  He did not get proper treatment.  He was malnourished and suicidal.  He died.  The news papers and TV are all over it.  But there are no beds it isn’t our fault.  Why was he in jail so long for a shoplifting offense.  He wasn’t even convicted.  Jail guards are not prepared to deal with chronic mental illness.  He was in solitary, which deteriorated his condition.  His family tried to get him out.  Many visits were denied due to his behaviors. If there was no bed, he should have been sent home with a mental health skill building agency to work with him.  Oh wait, there aren’t enough of those.  Why is that?  I applied in 02/15 to be a mental health skill builder provider.  I was number 178 on the list.  Now in May I am number 38 on the list.  They have two workers in Richmond processing all the applications for developmental group homes, outpatient, MHSB, TDT, IHH, IOP, substance abuse, and transitional living.  The whole state of Virginia has two workers to process at the present time 258 applications.  This isn’t the department that audits and monitors.  I bet the fraud unit to recoup medicaid money has more than two workers.

The young man needed help.  His family wanted to help him.  We let him down by trying to save money.

Do the math.  Each agency would probably hire about 10 workers at over minimum wage.   258 x 10=2,580 jobs in our state.  New graduates just out of school in all parts of the state. One of those workers could have helped him, but the paperwork has bogged down their agency.

We should be ashamed.  Call your state delegate and senator.  The next person might be someone you love.

Wisconsin persecutes the poor

Wisconsin, under the guise of making poor people eat right, unless it is Michelle Obama insisting on healthy school lunches, has a list of foods that food stamp recipients can’t eat with their SNAP benefits.

The list:  organic food, (shouldn’t this be included), cranberry sauce, creamed vegetables, baked beans, pickles, pork and beans, frozen vegetables,   French fries, potatoes (I guess the Irish have to starve), sharp cheddar cheese, canned peas and green beans, tuna, salmon and fish filets( all healthy here), bagels, white and wild rice ( another healthy choice), taco shells, almonds, rice, goat and soy milk, (healthy again), brown eggs (my favorite), some infant food, anything in bulk and ketchup, herbs and spices.  Having food with no flavor will make you eat less.

What does that leave to eat?  Spaghetti, beans, rice are inexpensive choices.  The average person gets 125.00 a month on SNAP. Missouri is banning steak.  Kansas is banning them from using the EBT card to go to the movies, a pool or anything fun and limits ATM withdrawals to 25.00 a day. Most electric bills are more than that.

What is up with people?  Don’t they realize that the  majority of SNAP recipients are disabled, veterans, children, elderly widows, single parents with jobs.  Imagine the nightmare for the clerks trying to determine what is okay and what is not okay to ring up.  I am in the grocery line long enough as it is.  Then, the shame of calling a manager because someone on food stamps has some beans and are they the right beans. Holding them up for everyone to see.

I have clients with mental and developmental challenges.  They would just not shop and would be confused.  The anxiety of getting the wrong food would cause a panic attack.

I get it don’t be poor in Wisconsin.  Well governor how is the job situation and the cost of living.  I could stretch my 125.00 on beans, rice, spaghetti and sack of potatoes and frozen veggies and tuna.  Now I guess you have to eat soup and cereal, full of sugar and sodium.  So much for the healthy options.

It is poor shaming.  Call it what it is.  We want you so ashamed to be poor that you won’t be poor anymore.  How easy that is?  I will just stop being poor.  My employer will raise my wage so I can eat baked beans.  Yeah!

It sounds stupid to me too.

 

Punish woman for abortion

Everyone has a view on abortion.  Most people don’t like it or don’t want to have one. Making it illegal won’t make it stop anymore than making guns illegal will keep them away from people.  How do you prevent abortion?

1.) Make birth control easily accessible and teach how to use on males and females.

2.) Make insurance pay for vasectomies and tubal ligations.

3.) Make adoption laws less cumbersome and free to anyone who wants to adopt.

4.) Do not give paternal rights to rapists, fathers who will be incarcerated and cannot see the child.

5.) Make child abandonment automatic termination of parental rights.

6.) Make is easier for foster parents to adopt.

7.)  Quit with the welfare shaming.  If people can’t afford kids, they won’t have them.  If you won’t adopt the child, and the father won’t support it, put it on welfare and shut up.

8.) Medicaid for all pregnant women so they can get prenatal care and medicaid for the baby.

9.) Pay relatives who raise the child just like a foster parent.

10.)  Make the morning after pill available without a prescription.

11.)  Make schooling free for single mothers with free child care.

12.)  Genetic testing for people before the get pregnant covered by insurance.

13.)  Get off the punishment, shaming rhetoric.  Many woman have abortions because they don’t want someone to know they got pregnant out of wedlock.

14.)  Quit with the discrimination laws.  In mississippi a woman can be fired for fornication, so her only choice to keep her job will be to abort so no one knows.

15.)  Look at your own behaviors.  Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t want a child?  NO.  They you don’t understand.

16.) Economic hardships caused my multiple children are a reality.  Raise the pay.

17.) Childbirth is a risk.  I am diabetic due to gestational diabetes.  Women still die from complications of pregnancy and child birth.

18.)  Improve child support enforcement to a federal level to cross state lines and for people who work under the table.

19.)  Teach parenting in middle school.  Kids need to know what it is like to really raise a child.

20.)  Be part of the solution, not just some asshole holding a sign in front of a clinic screaming nasty words.

 

 

 

 

The problem with modern women

We have come along way baby.  We now work and can take care of ourselves.  Independent ladies!

This has backfired.  I have so many female clients in their 20s and early 30s that complain about the same things.  My man cheated on me.  I am supporting him.  He has a baby with another woman.  He hits me and talks to me like crap.  He lives in my house, but doesn’t help.  I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want him to leave me.  What can I do to make him change? 

Let me answer that question for you.  NOTHING!!!!

Why does he would he change?  He has a mommy to take care of him and someone to have sex with.  He isn’t married so in his mind he can come and go as he pleases.  Why do you think he chose a competent woman?  He treats his mistress better, because he doesn’t see her every day and doesn’t have to take out the trash or help.

You want this situation to change.  I have 10 steps that should solve the problem. 

10.  Charge him rent.  A man needs to feel like a man.  I don’t care if he is a starving artist or trying to find himself.  Even 100.00 can help.  I bet he finds money for art supplies, beer, cigarettes.  If he doesn’t want to pay, he doesn’t stay.

9. You are not his mama.  Do not wash his clothes.  Set up a household schedule for chores.  Do not do his.  Hire a maid and make him pay half.  If he doesn’t want to do it or pay his share, then it either doesn’t get done or he leaves.

8.  Find your own stuff to do alone and go do it.  Do not call and tell him about it.  Be interesting and independent.  You make money.  Enjoy it.

7.  Do not have his baby and get on birth control.  Already pregnant, collect child support.  Set up times for him to watch the baby.  If he can’t work, he can be day care.  Do not stay with him because he knocked you up.

6.  Realize that being alone is not a bad thing.  Get educated and employed. 

5.  Have credit in your name. Do not put his name on your stuff.  He is not your husband.  If he is your husband, have some things in your name.  Do not lower yourself to ask for money.

4. Develop a support system and use it.  When it hits the fan, you need a place to go, a person to call, someone to borrow money from and a shoulder to cry on.

3.  If he cheats, get checked and do not sleep with him until he is cleared.  If you don’t want to leave, expect him to cheat again.  Either accept that he is a cheater or leave.  He will not change without counseling.  

2. Get help for yourself.  If he won’t go, go for yourself. If he bitches about you going, go anyway.  You don’t have to tell him that you are going.

  1.  If he hits you, leave.  Call 911 and have him arrested.  Look up narcissism as a personality disorder.  He will do what you allow him to do. You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.  He has to learn the hard way.  Their is no excuse.  Real men don’t hit women.

Liberated women unite.  Having a partner is nice, but have a partner not just someone that lays around your house screwing you figuratively and literally.  Don’t move an unemployed man in your house. Don’t cosign for him.   There are planty of good men out there.  Don’t run from them and treat them like crap.

Let aspiring artists live in a commune with other artists, musicians and poets.  Some men are fun to play with, but you don’t keep them.  If he did it to her, he will do it to you. 

If any of this makes you feel uncomfortable, call the domestic abuse hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE.