Most common marriage issue

Communication.

You spend the first few months enthralled at everything they say and find the jokes witty.  You ignore the little things that normally make your flesh crawl.  You expound on the wonderfullness of the other person.

Then you reside together either through cohabitation or marriage.  You notice he doesn’t put the towels up.  She leaves her dishes out.  He goes out without telling you.  She wears ugly sweatpants to bed.  You don’t bring it up.  It festers.  Then boom you have a fight and everything comes up at once.  They don’t understand because you never said anything before now.

Rules for cohabitation:

  1. Make a household budget and 3 accounts.
    everyone should have some of there own money.
  2.  Make a list of household chores and decide who does them.
  3. Each person has a bathroom to call their own and a space.
  4. You make decisions about children, discipline, visits.
  5. Elderly parents who cares for who?
  6. You have a weekly meeting to discuss the household and what is getting on your nerves.
  7. If you need space, ask for it, but give a time frame.
  8. Remember no one reads your mind.
  9. Say I fee _____________ when you _____________.
  10. Always and never and fine are not used.  No one is good or bad all the time and we all do things sometimes.  Plus fine stands for f’ed up, insecure,neurotic and emotional.
  11. Say what you mean.
  12. Paraphrase what the other person says.
  13. Don’t threaten to leave or throw someone out when you aren’t going to do it.
  14. Say something nice everyday to your person.
  15. Do not hit, throw things, break things or use insults.
  16. Do not tolerate such behavior.

 

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