Babies that arent yours

You marry someone with 7 grandchildren. They have babies. I love babies. I am great grandma. Then you get reminded of the late great biological grandmas. You will be the one to hold cuddle, knit and buy gifts for.  Is it okay to be step grandma, if the other grandma is deceased?  I am the only great grandma the child will know. I don’t really want to be a step.  It seems so less than.  I understand if the biological grandma is still around.  Your place is to be the bonus grandma.  There is no bonus. I know when I hold the babies they wish it was their grandma holding their child.  The baby cooes at me.  My husband and I hold it together.  He loves it. I love it.

I get introduced as this is my Grandpa and his wife.  I feel like an appendage.  If their Grandma was alive, it would be this is my Grandpa and Grandma.  I never had step grandparents so I don’t know the rules in the world of blended families.  My kids don’t call my husband Dad because their Dad is alive, but they don’t say this is my mom and her husband.  They say this is my Mom and Dave or my Mom and my stepdad Dave.

I try to keep the peace.  Do they want me to treat my biological children better?  I try to treat them all the same.   I don’t say this is Dave and his kids, his grandkids.  I say this is my family and introduce them by name.  Am  I wrong?

I had a client that came in with a pile of kids age 1 to 12.  She introduced them as this is my child by birth and these are my children by choice.  I love that woman.  Those kids will flourish in her home.

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