Reba and Narvel, Blake and Miranda, Gwen and Gavin. 26 years, 4 year, 12 years. What keeps a marriage together. Statistics report that the longer you stay married the less likely you are to divorce. My parents have been married 62 years.
I am seeing a rash of separating, divorcing couples and couples trying to stay together. Most have blended families and dysfunctional families or have gotten out of a bad marriage. The key issues are not money. There is no trust. Most have cheated or sexted or have work friends that are too close. The big issue is they don’t know how to ask for what they want or communicate. I ask them how to you decide things. They don’t know. Yet they can agree on parenting. Younger fathers are more hands on then generations prior. Mothers work and the income is more equal. Yet, they fight over where to go for dinner, who was that you texted, in-laws, who took out the trash. The big things don’t kill a marriage. When was the last time you had date night? We can’t agree on where to go. She always picks. She never picks. She is always on the phone. He doesn’t say anything.
Are we so wired to technology that we can’t talk to the person we love right in front of us? We can text out friends 20 times a day, but can’t tell our spouse we had a bad day. We go home and watch our Netflix queue and the only dialogue is about the kid, the dog and what bills need to be paid.
No wonder everyone is cheating our work friends become our work spouse. The one we tell everything too and eat lunch with and never argue.
If you want to make a marriage work, you have to put your spouse first. Don’t tell others about your spouses shortcomings. My husband is not perfect, but ask anyone who has seen us together. All they hear is how wonderful he is. I have his back. He has mine. Who would want to leave that.